“Mommy, I just can’t wait for Daddy time when you go to your meeting!”

V: “This helicopter doesn’t fly.”

S: “Why doesn’t it fly?”

V: “Because it’s a toy.”

S: “You got me there.”

S: “Do I need to start taking things away?”

V: “I want you to take something away.”

S: “OK, let’s start with your hammock.”

V: (As I’m taking down the hammock) “Next time start with something else. Next time you should start with a toy.”

S: “Next time, think about it before saying you want me to take something away.”

V: “Next time I’ll tell you to take away my doll house, and then my hot dog truck…and then the last thing will be my hammock.”

S: “That’s not how this works.”

M: “How much do you love your little brother?”

V: “I love him as fast as a velociraptor runs!”

“I told Siri not to play the bad guy song. But the bad guy didn’t know why I told him not to sing. That was the funniest part—when the bad guy said, “I want to sing!” but I said “No.”

V: “No, don’t shower.”

S: “Well I’m very sweaty and very dirty.”

V: “Oh, that sounds like a problem.”

“I think the dinosaurs were eating ice cream and then it ran out, and that’s how they died.”

“It’s sticking to my neck because I’m so sweaty. I’m like a stick of glue.”

Running in circles around the restaurant: 🎵 “I’m almost a grown-up lion!” 🎶

“I wonder if God was being silly putting salt in the water.”